Time to evaluate (and create)

We are currently experiencing a white-day-after-christmas, and therefore I find my mind wandering while I am trapped inside. Some things have been happening in my life that I feel I should document. I also want to share some pictures of my recent work.

First, some introspective rambling.

I recently finished a very difficult semester at school. It was probably my toughest yet. The amount of work was somewhat overwhelming, and I did not accomplish as much as I should have. It seems history repeats itself: a tough semester and a class to repeat. I have realized that I have some serious limitations to work past, mainly my technical sewing skills and ability to process 2D to 3D transitions. I am in the process of evaluating myself, my abilities, and my future plans. I know that I am a good designer; my creativity is something that keeps me going. I did fantastically in my fashion design and fashion illustration classes; it was draping that got me. I had just barely passed flat pattern over the summer, and draping was even harder. I am tired of struggling through something I should be able to do, something I need to be able to do in order to continue in my major. Despite this, I am willing to continue to work as hard as I can in order to achieve my goal. I will be a fashion designer, and this setback will not stop me.

In other, amazing news, I was officially accepted into the study abroad program. I will be attending school at AIU London this spring! I am so excited. It is really something that I need. The perspective, inspiration, experience, everything. It will set me back a bit, but I know it will be worth it. I am currently getting everything in order, including obtaining a visa and searching for an apartment. It still really hasn't hit me completely that I am going. I do have a good portion of time before I leave. I am going to work extra hard, make money, and try to work on some personal projects. I am also going to try to be social. We'll see how that goes. I am working through some strong feelings and questions about my friendships, but I will not go on and on about it here.

And now for something completely different. It is the holiday season! I am not a festive person by any means, but I have been keeping myself busy. I made a few batches of vegan cookies: spicy pumpkin bites, chocolate strawberry-lingonberry jam cookies, maple-oatmeal-banana cookies, Banana-date-brandy cookies, and my favorite: chocolate lime oatmeal cookies. I brought some to Mary's cookie swap, and fed the rest to friends at other times.
I really do love cooking, and vegan baking is addicting. I have been cooking up a storm whenevever I get the chance. I made a vegetarian Indian feast for Thanksgiving, which included: saag paneer, chickpea chana masala, cauliflower and peas, tamarind and mint chutney, and iced chai. I let my parents make their meat dish, lamb rogan josh. I spent the whole day cooking, but it was wonderful and the food came out great! Keeping in the spirit, I also cooked a huge feast for Christmas yesterday. It was a Moroccan feast, though not served in courses like a traditional meal. I made a carrot puree with dukkah, muhammra, a sweet potato bisteeya, orange and romaine salad, minted couscous, and a spicy fava bean salad. Once again my parents made a lamb dish and my dad baked some delicious bread. All the food was amazing! I am really impressed with myself and everyone enjoyed the meal. I have always been a a bit of a foodie, but my interest in cooking and exploring has seriously grown, especially since I became a vegetarian.
Cristmas day was pretty low key. My family exchanged presents, and I received a digital camera, a set of 120 prismacolor pencils, and a Blur documentary. I am ready to do some illustrations in the coming weeks with all those pencils! Is it sad that I am so excited about this?

I want to do more than just ramble and post outfits on this blog. Expect some inspiration collages, samples of my work, and posts about things I'm excited about in the near future. Until then, I am going to indulge in my current obsession: Twin Peaks. Happy holidays!

My life in pictures

My grand plan of taking daily outfit photos has gone by the wayside, but I have managed to scrounge up a few shots to document some special looks from last fall, the spring, and now. Many of these shots are courtesy of friends, since I don't have a great camera and I forget the one I have every time I have an event.

This was taken in the photo booth at Johnny Brenda's at the race to raise the roof benefit. Mary, Alex, and I tried to actually use the photo booth, but it wasn't working, so we improvised. I really love this photo strip, not only for the strip itself but of the good memory and the great people there at the show.



T-shirt is from Sexy Dynamite London


Okay, this is from early last fall. I was having fun with a wig I got on sale...



Wig: hair store, shirt: H&M, shorts: thrifted, shoes: vintage from Gretchen

Halloween at the Henri David Ball. I was an ex-expendable crew member of the starship enterprise.



Dress: thrifted, boots: Doc Martens

Dance of Vice: Shipwreck ball! Carla and I decided to go as drowned pirate sisters. This photo was on metromix:



A comparison: A shot of me with Brian Viglione (the best half of the Dresden Dolls, in my opinion) at the shipwreck ball and also one from last spring's ball ( I went as a Phoenician goddess.) He is a wonderful person and it was great meeting him and seeing him again!





And here are Carla and I at Dances of Vice: Trouble in Toyland!



I made the tulle skirt and sash thing. Rocking horse shoes are Rose Chocolat, socks are from Angelic Pretty

I got this Air Force coat with matching pants at a thrift store and I wear both pieces a lot (though not together.)



This is at Mary's caroling party before Christmas. I had just gotten my hair cut that day at Jean Madeline. Miakoda and Kristin also made the shot.



Dress: Liz claiborne, thrifted

Sandra and I met Claire during her early spring break for korean food. This was my reaction to mugwort cake (though not really, it's actually delicious.) During the cold months, this was part of my staying warm wardrobe. The scarf is from scotland, courtesy of Mary. The wool sweater thing is vintage and a life saver.



I met Mary for brunch at the Standard Tap. The pashmina (thnaks Caitlin!) was another wardrobe staple during the cooler months, and was often wrapped around my head for protection from wind and rain (bring back babushka!) Sorry for the sideways view...



Blazer: thrifted, pants: Uniqulo, blouse: thrifted ($1) shoes: Nine west, thrifted, pashmina: gift (from n. africa)


Me, Miakoda, and Rachel are doing our best white hipster dance impression at the somewhat horrible Major Lazer show. Mary took this one.



dress: thrifted

And here is Genni, my sister, and I, pretending we can stand each other. She is in her horrible, moody teenage girl faze at the moment, sadly.



hat: vintage, yard sale, shirt: thrifted

I'm sure there are more shots floating around somewhere. Maybe I'll actually attempt to get some things posted more often! To end, here is me right now, in an H&M boys t-shirt:

Oh, I think I remember you...

Well, it has been quite a while since I updated this blog. Things have been quite hectic but I've been holding it together for the most part.

Some updates about my life in general:
- I finished my spring semester and passed everything! I did very well in every class, except for the repeated one. Let's just leave it at the fact that I am no seamstress. I enjoyed my CAD for fashion class, learned some italian, and really loved my history of costume and textiles class.
- I have become quite a commited vegetarian. I still eat eggs on occasion and dairy, but no other animals or products! It's really fulfilling and I feel like I am eating better. I have developed a fierce love of cooking and trying new things, even more than when I was an omnivore. Everyone should go veg!
- I just started a summer class: Flat Pattern. A bit mundane and frustrating at times, but I really get the sense that I'm learning a lot. We have to make a final menswear and childrens wear outfit, so I am happy to finally being able to design and create! So add this to my two jobs and possible internship, and I basically have a limited amount of relaxation time.
- My moods and health have been relatively stable, though there's a lot more to work on still. I'm not used to taking daily meds, though I am on two that are helping my allergies and general health. I still can't remember to take my vitamins and calcium supplements, though.
- I got very beat up at the Gogol Bordello show in Philly in may, but it was amazing all the same. I was front center, against the barricade. Eugene spilled wine on us and I got some all over my face (and in my eye, ouch.) And at the end of the show he walked along the barricade and I got to touch him. Yes this is very important.

All in all, things are okay. I am ready to go to London right now, but I have to wait until next spring. Knowing I'll be studying there is really keeping me going through everything. I keep thinking of moving out, being independent, but I need to save up and really get ready. Everyone around me is moving on and I want to as well.

Anyway, I think a good picture post is in order. It's been so long, so I am going to include some older pics that I never got around to posting. Look for that later today!

You're always waffleing about!

A shot of me last night after a fantastic dinner with my and Cait's family that we hosted. I am wearing a vintage 1950s sundress from Gretchen. I got my hair cut a few days before christmas and I love it!

So 2009 is over, and 2010 has started, bringing with it many things to ponder. I very rarely write/blog/what have you anymore, but I think it may be a good thing for me to do. Especially considering all of the thoughts occupying my mind as of late.

Where to begin? Last year was quite a year. Bullet list of topics/thoughts:
- First year of college completed successfully. Second year started, not so successful at half way point
- New job at LDC of U Penn (still at the cafe as well)
- Realized who my real friends are and started phasing others out of my life
- Lots of trips to New York, hanging out with Carla, and all those amazing Dances of Vice Events
- Saw some of the best shows of my life: Franz Ferdinand, Mischief Brew, and the big one: Gogol Bordello
- Failed a class for the first time ever. I am still bitter, confused, and upset at myself over this
- Discovered a real love for fashion illustration
- Became even more active, working out when I could
- Became a total foodie and a brunch addict especially


It was my first year as a college student. That in itself has brought on so many changes, challenges, and adventures. Being a freshman was fine. Nothing was really as hard as I made it seem at the time. I learned a lot about myself and my friends. I tried to be a bit more social, while at the same time only per suing friendships I knew were real and lasting. I became really close to a few people, and they have helped me make through all of the crazy things that happened over the year.
The summer was fine, minus the tragedies that seemed to surround those I care about. One in particular was very tough. Despite this, many good things happened around these instances and over the summer in general. I worked a lot.
The fall and end of the year was tough. The semester nearly killed me, and I failed my most important class. I am not happy with myself and I am questioning everything.

So enough of this kind of thinking. I've decided to make some changes for this year.

- I have decided to fully become a Vegetarian. I ate a mainly vegetarian diet before, but I want to take it a step further. I am doing it for my health and for my beliefs. I am not just upset by animal cruelty, but by the way animals are raised, processed, and sold to consumers. We are not eating what we think we are. We are not tasting what meat should taste like. The factory farming industry, all of it... it scares me and has pushed me in this direction. Anyway, it will be difficult, but possible. My family isn't vegetarian and are a little bit thrown off by my decision. I have to also over come my own challenges. I like some meat dishes; I love food and tasting new things. Also, there is the cultural significance of certain foods and meals. I think I will still eat some fish and make exceptions for certain dishes. This may seem like a half-assed approach, but I am doing this for me and no one else.

- As a part of being healthy, I want to work out more. I did all summer at home and it was great. My dad joined the gym and I have been going with him over the break. I also have access to my school's gym, which is great. Not only do I want to work out for my physical health, but for my own sanity. It really helps to work out all the aggression and frustration and stress. I was in a horrible mood the other day, and I felt on the verge of tears all day for no apparent reason. So I left work early and went to the gym with my dad. After some vigorous exercise I felt great and my mind was at ease. I have to keep up with it and hopefully it will help me stay in control this year.

- I need to read more. I hadn't read much throughout my first year of college, which was huge change for me. I've always been a big reader. I've been doing more reading since the summer and throughout the fall. I take public trans, so why shouldn't I read? I'm currently working my way through the Dexter series and Jonathan Safran Foer's books.

- I want to join more activities/clubs/find a hobby. I would love to take up ballet again, but I am also looking into swing dancing.

- I want to educate myself more on: global issues, current events, ideologies, different cultures, languages

- I need to start really saving up for my semester abroad in London. It is the only thing keeping me going through school and work.

- I want to learn to cook more. Becoming a vegetarian has helped fuel my desire to cook. i also set a challenge for my family: at least one brand new dish made a week.

I am sure there are other things I want to blather on about, but I'm going to go relax and get some sleep. Tomorrow is my last day of winter break and I am going to enjoy the hell out of it.

Oh, and just so this post is a bit more interesting:





A great shot from the Gogol Bordello show in NYC on December 29, 2009. Yes, I love this band and I love Eugene Hutz. That is all I will say about that for now.